Dear Anna (and all others who read this blog),
You are now a 3-year-old, which makes me the
mother of a 3-year-old, which also makes me very tough, partially crazy and always tired. In the past 365 days, you have developed a very strong opinion on just about everything. We always said you were "ahead of schedule" - as your "terrible 2's" hit right after you turned 1, and now I feel like we've been dealing with the world of 3 - or Threenager, as I've seen it written, for a while too. You started saying "NO" with force. You've been perfecting the phrase "I DO IT MYSELF!" for quite some time too. You don't want to be told to do anything, but instead I think it needs to be suggested and somehow get you involved in the process by "helping" that you will actually consider it. Even then it's a toss-up. We like to say you are a bit bi-polar at this age, never knowing which Anna we're going to get - and even when we see one side of you, moments later we can see the polar opposite.
Our lives have certainly become a constant test of wills, and you
always want to win. [Thankfully, in 3 years of parenting you, my patience has grown by LEAPS AND BOUNDS and sometimes I have the perseverance to actually WIN against you. Not always, but sometimes.] I know you are learning every single day and you are very strong-willed in general, so I try to choose my battles. I let you pick out your clothes in the morning, which by the way you are
obsessed with dresses lately, and it has to be just the right one or else the whole thing can fall apart. Forget it if I want to pick out an outfit for you, you will simply throw it across the room and tell me that it's the worst. Again, patience. You have chosen some really hilarious outfits to go to Miss Sandy and they make us laugh. Well, not all of us. Your dad is not a big fan of your "wear whatever I like" style and doesn't think I should let it continue.. but to that I say, NOPE. It's hard enough to just get everyone dressed & ready and out the door, I don't need WWIII over which dress & pants combo you're gonna wear. I do, however, draw the line at letting you wear summer dresses in the fall/winter, so that's always fun. I just need to pack away ALL out of season clothes once and for all.... anyway, I digress.
Really though, the last year has been full of FUN. You have come into an age where I can say I have really enjoyed this whole year. You sleep well (only took you 2 years ;), you can communicate your needs (most of the time), you understand what we're telling you (when you so choose), you remember things (like "when you wake up we'll go to Grammy & Poppy's"... and then that's the first thing out of your mouth when you get up), and you understand emotions - you want to comfort, hug, kiss, snuggle. You like to make us laugh, you get upset when you're yelled at and look embarrassed when you have to apologize. (Jury is still out if you actually mean it). I just think I have felt the biggest "connection" to you in the past year than I had up to that point. We are best buds and I'm so happy to be around you (99% of the time... honesty is the best policy, no?) I just can't wait to see how our relationship grows and changes, but as we keep telling you... NO MORE GROWING. (You're just too much of a big girl now!)
Other notable 'things' from your 3rd year include:
A very distinct palate when it comes to food. You started saying no (see above) and eat sort of a limited menu. I take a very laid back approach to your eating. If you're hungry, you'll eat. If you don't like it, I don't force it just yet. I make things I know you'll eat so you do get some sustenance, but if you don't eat it that day, welp - sorry you're out of luck I'm not making 10 dinners. Things you like: chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, cheeseburgers, meatloaf, grilled chicken, bread & butter, scrambled eggs, fruit of all kinds, avocado, pickles, cucumber, applesauce, chips/goldfish/pretzels/snacks of all kinds, yogurt, pancakes, french toast, pasta with butter (a late development which pleases me), tomatoes ("I love grammy's potatoes!"), sometimes you'll eat celery randomly, and love all kinds of dips (again, chips rule).
You started talking in earnest around your 2nd birthday and haven't stopped. It's been super fun to watch that aspect of you grow this year. You went from a few words, to sentences, to entire thoughts and stories. People used to look at me when you spoke to get a translation but it is slowly becoming less and less necessary. You say funny things like "I AM MAD WITH YOU!" or "I'm go sad you're so here" (I'm so glad you're here). You tell me when you're hungry or thirsty, or that something is bothering you or that your belly hurts (although sometimes I am not 100% sure you know what that means). You have been a little sponge and after you turned 2 I vowed to clean up my language around you. It was mostly a problem for me in the car, where I apparently had a lot of road rage. After I decided I needed to just STOP, it's amazing how much less angry I feel in the car and how satisfying calling someone a "big dummy" can feel. Thankfully even with Daddy's potty mouth, you haven't been too bad with the curses. Here and there we catch it and try not to laugh (in front of you). Hearing you say "I love you mommy" unprompted has been one of my favorite things, along with "I missed you" and "This is my family!" (while giving big hugs to me and Daddy).
Your hair has GROWN! It is gorgeous. It is red and has a curl to it and it is just so beautiful. To think what you looked like on your second birthday vs. today is just amazing. I will likely cry when we have to get your first haircut, and that is not really something I do.
This year you discovered the full glory that is the beach. We took you, not knowing how you'd react (see again: bi-polar), and just like me, you were hooked. I slathered you with 50 SPF every 30 minutes, kept you in a hat and short sleeved bathing suit contraption and you loved every minute of it. You are fair skinned and like your Grammy was with me, I want to keep it that way! You play in the sand, you play in the waves (while someone is holding you.. you weren't
that brave yet. Next year!) We had picnic lunches and looked for shells and took long walks. I love that you love the beach as much as I do and can't wait for next summer... especially since I won't be pregnant!!
And also in that category, you became SO BRAVE this year. Daddy was instrumental in this as he is a guy and dads think differently than moms. He let you climb the big tall stuff at the playgrounds and trusted you to figure it out. He helped but didn't hover. He showed you how to do it yourself. He gave you courage when you were scared. Meanwhile I'd sit to the side and try to take many deep breaths because truthfully it was scary for ME! (I have a weird thing about you breaking your teeth.) But every time you became more and more brave and I have been nothing but impressed. You make fast friends with anyone at any park and immediately play, run, laugh and have a great time with anyone. You introduce yourself (for a while you were telling people your name was DePerry. That was hilarious) and get right into playing. You include everyone and are very sweet to all your new friends. (It's only your friends at Miss Sandy's that you abuse)
We had you potty trained for a few short weeks in July and you did so good. We just decided one day that it was time and we spent 3 days inside working on it. You totally got it. We went out to eat and to traveled to Uncle Brian's wedding and you told us when you had to pee and you actually went! There were very few accidents. (You even pooped a couple times) Then suddenly, bam, you were over it and started peeing in your pants and not telling anyone and not caring that you were wet. We decided to give you a break and try again in a couple months, after Allie had arrived and we were all settled again. But you are SO STUBBORN. You know exactly what is going on and want nothing to do with it. Sometimes you will say "I have to pee" and willingly go right in and go. Then you'll turn around and crawl under the dining room table and poop, coming out to say "You change me?" It's infuriating. The worst part is, you are smart enough - you just don't want to give up that power. It's driving us nuts. I don't want to have a 3+ year old that still poops her pants. AHHHH. (Jury is still out on ongoing potty training attempt #2. Will report back on its staying power.)
Speaking of Uncle Brian's wedding, you had the honor of being their flower girl in July. You absolutely
loved this job and your beautiful princess dress. (Even to this day when we talk about Brian or Kelly you say "I can wear my princess dress???") You crumbled a bit under pressure and I had to walk you down the aisle, but you still looked adorable. You sat like an angel in church for an entire hour-long mass (I can barely do that). You weren't shy at all, you posed (and smiled) for pictures and you DANCED. My goodness, did you DANCE. We couldn't get you off the dance floor. You were hot, red and sweaty and danced with all the ladies at the wedding. It was amazing. I was 99 months pregnant so I didn't get to dance too much, but you didn't let it stop you. You didn't nap for 3 days and slept in a big hotel bed for the first time so you were running on fumes. That night I put you down around 9 and you PASSED OUT cold till 7am straight. It was much needed and definitely earned.
By far, the biggest change to your world this year was becoming a big sister. As much as we could prepare you for that, we tried. We read books about it and talked about it, but I never thought it really clicked for you. You felt the baby kicking in my belly as we read stories at night, but I don't know if it ever made sense to you that the baby inside was coming home to live with us. One night I was gone and the next we had this new baby. You stayed with Grammy & Poppy and went to Miss Sandy's and came to visit at the hospital and from that first minute you saw "Baby Allie" you were IN LOVE. You have been a perfect big sister from that first moment and it is the thing I am most impressed with about you from this year. Being only 2.5 when she arrived, I didn't know what to expect. You never showed jealousy or anger at having to share me, which was happening from the minute we got home. You seemed to understand and were SO happy to have this little baby all for yourself. You have been proud, sweet, gentle, loving and wonderful. (Not to say we haven't had to have moments of "Don't lick the baby" or "Don't sneeze on her face" or "Don't crush the baby!".... cause we've had TONS. It's all a learning experience, for sure) You try to help her if she's crying (passa patrol!), you sing with me to her in the car when she cries (which lately has been non-stop), you jump around trying to make her laugh. You are so proud when you get a smile from her and repeat the phrases we're always saying "Oh that's a nice smile!" "Oh look at you little chubby!" and it is so funny to see you act like such a big girl. I am so looking forward to watching your relationship grow, as having another daughter made me so happy that you would have a sister for life. I know you guys will go through your "stuff" but it really is such a blessing and I'm so happy to be a part of that. You've been calling her "Baby Al" lately, which is so cute. (You can lay off calling me "Mom" though, let's stick with Mommy for a while - although saying "You're the mother" is one of my favorites. "Hello,
mother!")
Other things of note:
You loved to watch 'Paw Patrol' and 'Blaze and the Monster Machines' on Nick Jr. I swear, 90% of your phrases come from those shows (thanks Miss Sandy), but it really is hilarious to hear you respond "Sweet!" or "yeah dude!" to something we say. Daddy loves listening to you sing the Paw Patrol theme song and has tried repeatedly to get it on video, but no luck yet.
The songs I would use to sum up your 3rd year would be: "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor and "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift. Not even sure how that happened but you were requesting them by name (Ba Ba Dase for the first and Shake Shake for the second). I love it and rocking out with you in the car has been so much fun.
You have an undying obsession with all things sparkly. Auntie Christina bought you these amazing sneakers what seemed to be forever ago, and you have worn them with pride far longer than any other pair (it helps that when they came they were too big, so you've had time to grow with them). This translates into shirts, pants, dresses, anything sparkly is right up your alley.
You obsess about weird stuff for days/weeks at a time & want those things with you all the time. Things range from the Anna from Frozen doll, to a plastic band-aid to a stuffed kitten to a container of chapstick I gave you (that you so sweetly call Pucker Up, which I love and never want to change, ever). These things even have to go to bed with you, or else the whole bedtime routine is shot. You are so weird, it makes me laugh.
You started gymnastics this year in September and go every Saturday morning for an hour. Daddy has taken on the role of "Parent" for this "parent and tot" class and he loves going with you. You love the class and have been learning a lot - more than just about gymnastics. You are also learning how to wait your turn and be patient and how to listen to instructions. You and Daddy have made a sweet little routine where you get a donut together after class, and even though I hate that I'm missing you having so much fun, I love that you guys have something special that is only about the 2 of you. We hope to do swimming class next and that again will be a special Daddy-only job.
You have some weird new fears and I think they are mostly because of TV. You make us say things like "No monkeys, no ghosts, no bears, no dragons" before bed. You seem to be scared of the dark and don't want to go off in the house by yourself to do anything. If I ask you to get something from your room, you say "You want to come with me?" or won't go in unless the shades are up or the lights are on. You do say "I'm not scared" but you won't go alone. I hope this one doesn't last long because sometimes I could really use your help getting things for me when I can't!
Another very special thing for your 3rd year was that Grandma & Baba moved to New Jersey from Rhode Island! In July they made their way down for good and it has been such a treat! They are about 20 minutes away from us and we get to see them all the time! They are now able to help out with babysitting and have been around for birthdays and holidays and little get-togethers and it has been so nice! I'm so happy you'll be able to grow up and have all of your grandparents around you, as that relationship is so special and they all love you so much. You are a lucky, lucky girl.
Sometimes it's hard to be the "go to" parent... sometimes I just want (and need) a break. But then I leave the room for 2 minutes and when I come back you come running, screaming "MOMMY!! You're here!!!!" and throw yourself into my arms. And that's when I remind myself "The days are long, the years are short" and hug you back as hard as I can. You'll never be this little again.
I can't put into words how much I love you, so just know it is bigger and deeper than you can imagine. Same can be said about how you try my patience, but we are all working on that ;) You're smart, you're sassy, you're fiery, you're sweet and loving. You are a good girl with a good heart and I can't wait to see you grow up even more. Stay just as unique and weird as you are, you're amazing. I'm so lucky to be your mommy and be on this journey with you. Happy 3rd birthday kid!
