I will do my very best to keep up with our second girl with monthly updates... I just have to make it a part of my schedule and that way I will try to keep on top of it! And as usual, I will do a dedicated post just for her stats each month with pictures! Check back after this weekend for an update... (Her one-month doctors appointment is Friday at 9am)
I have to say that round 2 of motherhood hasn't shocked me as much as round 1 did. (This shouldn't be surprising, as I had clearly done this before, but for some reason it has taken me by surprise!) I think the first time around everything was turned on its head, as we had never taken care of a baby before and our "normal" lives were completely ABnormal. This time, we were already operating on a schedule of another small person and were used to juggling our time to do many things so it seemed like adding Allie into the mix was just another person to keep track of and make sure her needs were met too.
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| our TWO little people on a tiny adventure |
Things that have really helped:
- Doug was off from work from August 13 to September 2. He was with us all day, every day and really helped to make things feel less 'frantic'
- Allie was very relaxed for her first few weeks with us. Lots of sleeping, a pretty calm temperament. She also did not poop with every single diaper she had, like Anna did. Literally I remember that girl pooping 10+ times a day. Allie was more of a 3 times a day girl.
- Anna was happy to have a sister and constantly wants to hug and kiss her and hold her and sit with her and help her. She is not super jealous, she doesn't seem to get too mad at Allie (or me) when we are busy or if I need to ask her to wait for something. I am doing a lot of multi-tasking (which thankfully I am pretty good at) - like walking down the stairs carrying Allie, holding the Boppy pillow, my water, a stuffed animal of Anna's and then I get a request for "Hold my hand Mommy!!!" I want to say no, but her little face breaks my heart and I (almost) always help, even though I know she doesn't need it. I am trying to help her transition too and don't want her to feel that since Allie is here she is automatically #2 and not important. I'm finding it's a very fine line to walk.
- It's SUMMER. It's daylight until 8pm (or now earlier and earlier....sigh). I think last time around I felt SO much more sad/baby blues because it was dark at 4:30pm and cold and we would spend 99% of our day inside. This time around the daylight and warm temps have really helped me feel so much better.
- Also, having an existing routine has helped a lot. Anna goes to Miss Sandy 4 times a week still, as we have to pay to keep her spot and why change her whole life even more if we don't have to? While Doug was home he would get up and take her and pick her up but he went back to work on the 2nd and I have been doing both drop-offs and pick-ups every day and it really helps. We try to get to Miss Sandy's around the same time every day and I pick her up around 5pm. With Anna as a baby, if we had a bad night, I could lay in bed till 10am, never change out of my pajamas and be a complete bum all day.... which also leads to feeling more 'blah' - a vicious cycle. This time around, even if we've had a less than stellar night, I have another kid that wakes up at 7:30 that has places to go and things to do. I get up, get dressed, sometimes put on makeup, sometimes I hide behind sunglasses but I am OUT. It feels good. Some days I do errands after drop-off, I have even made it to the grocery store a few times with just Allie - which is so much easier than with a 2.5 year old.
- I remember that everything is fleeting. These moments are short. Allie won't be a newborn baby forever, she won't ever be this tiny again. She won't cry and scrunch and wail about gas forever. With Anna, everything felt so "final" - you never knew where you were going (although babies are always changing), but this time I realize that babies just have tiny, immature tummies that get upset easily. You do your best to help them out, get through the screaming fits about toots and poops and remember in a month or 2 months that kind of stuff will not be as frequent. It's already been a month and time is flying.
Things that are still hard include trying to do everything for everyone. I want to be a good mom to Anna and play with her and not yell all the time, I want to do bath time and bedtime routine, I want to snuggle with her or go outside and go to the park BUT I still have to take care of Allie, whose needs are pretty intense right now. She's so small we don't have a real schedule but she also can't do everything we might want to do (go outside and play when its 90 degrees out!). I had one night where I just felt like I was failing everyone - I had to nurse Allie every 10 minutes it felt like, I barely got to finish my dinner (much less talk with Doug), I couldn't help with bath routine, barely got to spend any time with Anna, Doug had to do all the dinner cleanup and I had that moment of "Anna is growing up right in front of my eyes and will never need me like this again and I'm
missing it" Saying it out loud is kind of funny because I know that there are bad days like that - and there are good days where it all kind of comes together somehow and I feel like a supermom that got everything done and feel like everyone got their equal share. And even funnier, I wake up in the morning and Anna is THRILLED to see me (and Allie) and she doesn't resent me and even more - she likely won't even remember this time period in her life anyway. The times of her being an "only child" will only be things she knows about through stories from us. Too much internal pressure that I need to ease up on and I know will definitely come with time.
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| besides, I think it's safe to say she's obsessed |
Overall we are doing well. Allie is still sleepy during the day (we don't get to see a lot of her eyes open just yet- so much so that whenever we do Anna yells out "HER EYES ARE OPEN!") and is hit or miss at night. There is no consistency right now and I know that that will likely come after 6 weeks, so I try not to put too much pressure on it either. I have such bad PTSD about Anna's sleeping habits that I am hyper-sensitive to everything, hoping not to make bad habits already while also thinking "she's not even a month old, let's just do what we've got to do to survive". The thoughts of "Am I making it worse by going with that method?" still creep in and I have to silence them. We'll figure it out. Every kid is different. Our whole life situation is different now, we've got more experience by our side. We can do this! (Positivity rules)
Mostly, I want to look back on this time and remember it wasn't so bad. It's definitely not easy, of course, and not sleeping through the night really does mess with your mind but I keep telling myself nothing is forever. And this time I actually believe it.
Now - the fun stuff - PICTURES:
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Oh look I do exist!
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| chubby baby semi smiles |
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